Fred Allen Quotes

Fred Allen

US radio comedian (1894 - 1956)

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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.

Categorized under Movies

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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

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A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

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[Television is] the triumph of machine over people.

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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

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Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

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Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

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Do we really deserve top billing?

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An income tax form is like a laundry list -- either way you lose your shirt.

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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

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The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

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I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

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Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

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I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

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Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

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Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

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My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.

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California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.

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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

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Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

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