George Burns Quotes

George Burns

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If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because very very few people die past the age of a hundred.

Categorized under Age

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I'm at that age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

Categorized under Age

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Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.

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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

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Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning anf a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.

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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

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Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

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