Terry Pratchett Quotes

Terry Pratchett

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The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

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Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

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A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

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For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

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Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate...

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[The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.

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What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"

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A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

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Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.

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Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".

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A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

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Sham Harga had run a succesful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and realizing that most of his customers wanted meals properly balanced between the four food groups: sugar, starch, grease and burnt crunchy bits.

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If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.

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Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street- cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.

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For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

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A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

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When the least they could do to you was everything, then the most they could do to you suddenly held no terror.

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He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

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No. Men should die for lies. But the truth is too precious to die for.

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The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

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