W. C. Fields Quotes

W. C. Fields

US actor (1880 - 1946)

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If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about things.

Categorized under Success

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Never give a sucker an even break.

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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.

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Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

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Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again.

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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

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I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.

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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

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I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

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I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.

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I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.

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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.

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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

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